Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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A jew go out of a bar

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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justin bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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