I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops