what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Well I think that anti jokes are stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops