What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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