Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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