What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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9/11 my birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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