how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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69.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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