How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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