whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

i saw amango it splootered

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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