An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

My spelling is horrible

What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

How old are you? 7

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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