Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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