what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Paper or plastic? Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops