A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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How you know when dislextic

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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A sober Irish individual.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops