What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Hey

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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