Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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