Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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A jew enters a mall.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops