How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock no no you go now i clean

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops