- Anti Joke

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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