What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -20

rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Reading the Terms and Conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops