A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

dat shoe shine tho

Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

Womens rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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