Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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