A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Your face

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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