How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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12/23/2012

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops