What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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i killed my family

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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Theres an app for the iPhone.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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A black man and a white man get married... Trick question, since gay marriage is illegal in the United States, the men did not get married, and they later both died alone.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops