What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops