- Anti Joke

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Definitely not Lisa.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

Is your refrigerator running? No.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Definitely not Lisa.

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

Knock, Knock Come in

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

John Cena

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

Is your refrigerator running? No.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

Knock, Knock Come in

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

John Cena

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

Is your refrigerator running? No.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Definitely not Lisa.