My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Who is it?

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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