Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Ham sandwich

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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