What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops