what do you call a bird that is gay bird a gaybird

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

why did John fall off his bike I don't know I was not there it was a rumor at school

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

Barack Obama.

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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