A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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