Why did the mexican mow the lawn. Because the grass in his front yard is longer than he likes it .

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my mind's eye?

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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