- Anti Joke

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

what's white and sticky semen

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.