A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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