Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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