A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Girls Lacrosse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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