why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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penis. nuff said.

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How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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