Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

You were born.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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