One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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NEVER

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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oh hey.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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dry handjob

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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