Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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you give like i give lomain

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Then none of us want to be right.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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