Cliterus

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penisvaginaorgasm

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what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

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A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

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What do you call a whale driving a plane? A horibble massacre.

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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