Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

thumb_up thumb_down -13

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops