Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops