What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Dyslexia ruels!

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dassa

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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