How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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