How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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Tommy got neutered.

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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What's comfy and easy to wear? Shorts.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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The ability to live the life of a dead person.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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