You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Not a joke.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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