Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Why? Why not?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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fish fishy caoimhin

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Knock knock, Whos there? Your adopted.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops