Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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i just pooped that is all!

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops