He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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