A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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