What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops