If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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