Why did the black man approach a small white girl in the alley? He was knew in town and needed directions

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew. One's a tasty delicious snack and the other one's a pizza.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

what did the old lady die of old age...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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