You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Chuck Norris is so strong that he could bench almost 250 pounds in his heyday.

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Women's Rights

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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