knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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