How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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