what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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watch a i d s left

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

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it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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